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Why Create Agreements?
Default Accountability Systems don’t work.
Many leaders, by default, manage teams and people through expectations; they’re accustomed to setting high expectations and then, well, expect people to fulfill them. When expectations are not met, these frustrated leaders blame others and may even claim they have B players who don’t follow through. Rarely do they look at whether their expectations were realistic, clear, time-bound, well understood, or properly followed up on.
Having Expectations vs Creating Agreements
- Expectations
- Toxic
- Fear-based, heavy, stressful, produce anxiety, reactivity, defensiveness
- Trying to live up to others’ expectations creates resentment
- Responsibility deferred to others/blame
- Demotivating
- Disempowering
- Not based on relationship
- Does not invite conversation
- Hierarchical: “As your superior, I reserve the right to set expectations for the level of work and pace it’s completed. I should only have to say what I expect once.”
- Re-enactment of old negative power struggles with authority: parents, teachers, etc.
- When expectations are
- Met: neutral response rarely acknowledged or create great feelings or wins.
- Missed: resentment, disappointment, frustration on both sides.
- Agreements
- Co-created, co-authored, negotiated together
- Informed with realities of present situation
- Easily updated, managed, discussed
- Invite ongoing communication
- Builds trust and strengthens relationships over time
- Puts ownership on both parties
- Respectful, honoring, energizing
- Creates energy
- Invites honesty and understanding
- People love to meet Agreements. It feels good.
Creating a Working Agreement
1. Â Â Clearly Articulated Desired Result
Set a shared picture of what good looks like
The ACME product proposal with specific details regarding 6 month roadmap and hiring needs. Here’s what would make it great…
We agree to start every meeting at the beginning of the hour and finish 5 minutes early. That means we will both be seated in our places, with Zoom queued up, ready to go.
2. Â Time Bound
We agree the product proposal will be completed and delivered to me by Thursday at 3 pm. You agree to text me via Slack when you have sent it. And I agree to acknowledge receipt by Slack text.
3. Â Â Clear Notification Process if Agreement to be Missed
If you are not going to meet our agreed upon 3 pm time, can we agree that you will let me know on Slack at least 24 hours before so I can make adjustments? We can then set a new timeline if needed.
If either of us are going to be late, then we agree to text at least 15 minutes prior to the meeting. If either of us is late several weeks in a row, we will discuss our agreement and make necessary changes.
4. Â Acknowledgement of Agreement if Met
Thank you for the proposal! I appreciate you hitting the target!
Great to see us both on time!
5. Â Follow Up if Not: Manage Agreements, Not People
Something happened with our agreement. I didn’t get the proposal at the agreed-upon time, and it was missing a few key components that we discussed. I’m curious what happened. Did we bite off too much? Did something come up? Were we clear enough in creating the agreement? Where did we go wrong here?
You were a few minutes late. I want to come back to our agreement. What happened? Do we need to adjust?
Revision of process moving forward
Learning Process. It is important to see each deadline, either made or missed, as information. Renegotiation and recalibration are part of the relationship/trust-building process. What went great? What was challenging? What might we do differently next time?
Key Areas of Development
Many leaders are willing to try managing through Agreements but will attempt it once and abandon the process if it doesn’t work the first time. Critical to see it as an ongoing developmental process.
- Following up on agreement: Sticking with timeline, acknowledging made or missed agreements, committing to process
- Lack of understanding that it is a learning process for everyone. Goal is to get better, not black and white accountability in the beginning.
- Unsure how to proceed when Agreements are not met
- Uncomfortable to point out when missed, what’s next?
- Tendency to blame the other or get frustrated
- Shame at not making the agreement: duck and hide
- Not specific enough in what good looks like in beginning
Great Leaders at Filmhub
- Ensure Agreements are clear, realistic, and agreed upon (who is doing what by when).
- Do what they say they will do. Follows up.
- Track progress on Agreements and ensure completion.
- Renegotiate when Agreements are in jeopardy. Avoids surprising others with bad news or last-minute delays.
- Allow people to fulfill their roles and make decisions without micromanaging them.
- Hold people accountable. When Agreements are missed, discusses what went wrong and gets a new commitment.
- When tasks are completed, gives helpful feedback (both positive and negative).
- Ensure the right person is in the role, moving or letting people go when it’s the wrong fit.